Why I Chose Adoption

We had a normal pregnancy with our first-born son and so we didn’t even think about potential problems when we got pregnant a second time. We were hoping for a little princess to finish our family. We were over the moon excited when we found out we were having a little girl. What we were not prepared for at all was her being born at 30 weeks sleeping. The loss of our daughter was devastating to us. The thought of going through another pregnancy was terrifying to me. It took us a long time to even talk about more children, but I knew in my heart I still wanted a daughter. My husband and I discussed adoption many times, but never really thought it could happen for us. When a family friend told us about a mom who was looking to place her baby for adoption a spark of hope fluttered in my heart. We reached out to the mom and my husband, and I had lunch with her and her boyfriend. We all hit it off right away. When we learned she was having a girl another puzzle piece clicked together for us. We were able to walk through the pregnancy with our daughters’ biological parents. We were able to be there for sonograms, doctor visits and even at the hospital for her birth. The time during the pregnancy waiting for our daughter to be born felt so slow. We worried that something would change or go wrong at the very end. It was hard to keep the faith and believe in a positive outcome. After she was born, the time waiting for consents to be signed went even slower. Every minute felt like an hour, but the agency was there for us and walked us through every step of the way to our happy ending. Not all adoption stories end horribly. We have a beautiful girl, and she is the light of our family! We love her more than life itself! Adoption can be a scary journey. Thankfully with help from Glenn and BJ (my rock) they made our journey the most amazing ever! If your considering adoption I promise with BJ by your side your golden. She is so kind and caring and has the best interest of all parties involved! She is and will always be part of our story and our family!! We thought we were done expanding our family when he finally came home. We enjoyed our first year as a family of 4. It was perfect with our two amazing sons. But, there was a void that neither of us could quite pinpoint. Then, around Christmas, our oldest child came to us and said, “I now have the perfect brother and so now I want a perfect sister to finish our family.” My husband and I looked at each other and both of us knew at that time, we had to find her (our daughter) to complete our family. Sadly, once we got to the hospital, things changed. Our hope and excitement quickly turned to disappointment and grief when we found out the baby died. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we were in a quiet lobby mourning a baby we didn’t even know we loved 24 hours earlier. This heartbreak was a reality check for me, and I wondered how many times I’d have to feel this heartbreak before our baby was in our arms. I wondered if it would be worth it, and then felt guilty for even thinking that. It was a rollercoaster. This event had me questioning everything: family, morals, love, our future of adoption. Everything. So we started over. I remember re-filling out the mountain of paperwork on a cold night in February and cursing myself, telling myself I couldn’t believe I was dumb enough to try this crazy journey again. We redid the home study. We contacted the lawyer who found us our baby boy and signed up again to be on her list of potential adoptive families. I recall how surprised she was that I was contacting her again with our adopted son not quite being a year-old. I told her that I knew that this process took time and that if we were able to bring our sweet baby girl home by the time he turned 2, I would consider it a miracle and an insurmountable blessing. She wasn’t too optimistic, as she rattled about the statistics of being re-matched so soon after a successful adoption. But, we had faith, and that was truly all we needed at the time. Months came and went with no successful matches, despite a handful of birthmother situations we applied for. Then, all of a sudden, a beacon of hope came in. We matched. Finally. Baby girl to be born in July. While the excitement of this match was unbelievable, the truth was, I didn’t feel so confident. Something felt off from the beginning. Even after hours on the phone with our lawyer and her counselor, something was just not right. The birth mother changed her mind and we were back to hoping for a new match. After months ridden with anxiety, we ultimately experienced a failed match again in August. The money was just gone. We were stuck between the desire to continue and the financial reality that another match may drive us into financial ruin. We decided to just be still and let the good Lord show us the way. And, sure enough, He found us and showed us. We were on our way to a Labor Day getaway when we were contacted by a previous adoption lawyer-turned-friend that fateful Friday night. She started by saying how she knows that we just went through a tremendous loss and didn’t know if we would even be willing to match again, but that she thought she found us a potential birth mother. She told us the story over a period of about 15 minutes. She ended by saying, “Take the night and get back to me.” My husband and I looked at each other and said, “We don’t need the night. The answer is yes.” Over the next four months, we would learn more about the couple that would bless us with our daughter. Despite the unquestionable yes, finances were tight. We took out a second mortgage, solicited help from our parents, and ultimately were awarded a grant thanks to the generosity of an adoption non-profit, but we made it work. And when we met our sweet daughter on December 21st, the day after she was born, there was a peace that took hold of us like nothing we had ever experienced. Holding our sweet newborn with dark beaming eyes and a head full of dark hair took my breath away. There, in our 9lb 13oz newborn daughter was our happily ever after.